The Power of Listening: Why CEOs Must Hear to Lead

After exploring how to build communication channels and how to speak with clarity and empathy, this third article continues my five-part series on leading through uncertainty. This next principle focuses on what happens when it’s your turn to stop talking.

Strong communication does not always begin with a microphone. It often begins with silence. It begins with listening. The beauty of listening is that it requires nothing of you in the moment. There is no need for action, defense, or a quick solution. It is an act of humility that creates space for truth to surface.

Most of us equate communication with output: presentations, memos, and all-hands updates. But true leadership often begins when we stop producing and start perceiving. The discipline of listening means pausing long enough to hear what is actually being said, and sometimes, what is not being said at all.

Here are some reflections from my own continued journey to master this essential leadership principle.

Getting Your Mental and Physical Posture Right

Effective listening begins long before a single word is spoken. It starts with one’s posture, both mental and physical.

Mentally, ask yourself whether you are genuinely curious about another person’s perspective or if you’re simply waiting for airtime to express your own. Physically, imagine someone sketching a caricature of your body in that moment. Would they see crossed arms, a furrowed brow, or a defensive stance? Or would they see open arms, a calm face, and an attentive presence?

Before any words are exchanged, taking accountability for your own state of being sets the tone for meaningful dialogue. It signals that you are willing to learn, grow, and lead with intention. Remember that the goal in most communication is not to prove who is right. The goal is to reach the best collective outcome and move forward with shared purpose.

At the same time, preparing to listen with a completely blank slate may not always be realistic. As a leader, you will naturally carry certain biases and mental frameworks into every interaction, whether it’s with a colleague, a customer, a prospect, or another stakeholder. I’ve found it helpful to acknowledge these frameworks but hold them lightly.

Approaches such as hypothesis-driven exploration can help structure dialogue, but only if they remain flexible enough to evolve as new insights emerge. Listening for what ought to be heard requires curiosity instead of certainty, and humility instead of hierarchy. Many of my colleagues in venture capital at ICONIQ are highly skilled at this practice. They have helped me refine my own listening posture and sharpen my ability to stay open to what I do not yet know.

Listening for Emotion as Well as Insight

Leaders are often trained to listen for data. Yet behind every number lies a human story filled with fear, hope, and motivation.

In my early twenties, while leading a global SAP implementation, I learned this lesson the hard way. Our client was furious about delays and cost overruns. She spoke with anger and exhaustion, and my first instinct was to defend myself or to promise quick fixes.

Her intensity shook me. I feared being removed from the project. Every instinct urged me to fight back, to justify the circumstances, or to point to factors beyond my control. Another instinct pushed me to appease her with promises I was not sure I could keep. Neither approach felt right.

Then a quieter voice inside reminded me to listen rather than react. I already knew the facts. The software was too rigid, the client’s processes were too constrained, and our timeline was too tight. Satisfaction seemed unlikely, but success was still possible if we worked together within our shared constraints.

I began focusing on understanding her perspective instead of protecting mine. Despite my company’s mantra of “customer satisfaction above all,” I realized that what we truly needed was a shared commitment to joint success within our mutual limits.

I asked her to share her constraints, fears, and hopes for the project, and I shared mine in return. Through that open dialogue, we adjusted our approach, and she found new flexibility in her processes. Together, we defined what measurable success could look like and agreed to pursue it as partners. That conversation transformed tension into trust, and the project ultimately succeeded.

I learned then that pursuing customer satisfaction alone was not enough. Customers may never be fully satisfied, nor should they be. However, when they are treated as partners who are genuinely heard and understood, shared success becomes possible.

Years later, that experience shaped one of Coupa’s core values: “Ensuring Customer Success.” The roots of that philosophy trace back to this client interaction, where I was somehow able to listen deeply to what needed to be heard. Over the next fifteen years, it became a defining part of our culture, helping set us apart from competitors and fostering genuine partnership across our community.

That experience taught me that leadership begins when we listen not only for insight but also for emotion. When we truly hear what people feel, a deeper understanding emerges, and with it, the opportunity to realign and move forward together.

Being Assertive, Not Passive or Aggressive, and Then Acting on What You Hear

One of the greatest challenges of listening deeply is knowing how to respond once you have truly heard someone’s perspective. Early in my career, I often swung between two extremes: pushing my own point of view too aggressively or accepting something that did not seem right to avoid potential conflict. Both approaches led to disappointment and unnecessary strain.

With experience, I learned the power of assertiveness. To be assertive is to stay grounded, to react thoughtfully, and to focus on the broader situation rather than the loudest or quietest voices. It means listening actively while keeping sight of the greater good. It requires vulnerability, but also strength of conviction. It demands accountability to positive, collective outcomes.

In supervisory situations, assertiveness emerges via direct eye contact, no hesitation, and confident presence. It means being transparent about what feedback will lead to change, what will not, and why, all communicated respectfully. It demonstrates that listening is not merely a leadership tactic but an integral part of one’s operating system.

True listening does not end when the conversation does. It continues in what you communicate afterward, how you summarize what you heard, the actions you intend to take, the actions you anticipate from others, and how progress will be measured. Closing the loop builds trust and reinforces credibility. It tells people that you heard them. You may not agree on every point, but their input has influenced the path forward.

In Conclusion

Listening is not a soft skill. It is a force multiplier for leadership.

It begins with your mental and physical posture, your readiness to be present and open. It deepens when you learn to recognize the emotions beneath the words and to manage your own emotions in response. It takes shape when you act with assertiveness and integrity, translating what you hear into thoughtful action.

The best leaders stay grounded even when feedback stings or conversations run hot. Listening is not the quiet part of leadership. It is the foundation of it.

Prepare to listen. Recognize emotions. Listen fully, respond thoughtfully. Follow up. Close the loop with authenticity. Lead!